It has to be a rough life being a fan of Detroit sports teams lately.
The Lions are the lovable losers of the NFL, the Tigers haven’t won a World Series in over 40 years and the Red Wings are in the middle of a decade-long playoff drought, having missed the big dance once again this season.
Then there are the Detroit Pistons.
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After nearly 20 years of irrelevance, they have somehow found themselves back on top of the Eastern Conference standings on the back of a 60-win regular season.
Detroit Pistons guard Cade Cunningham dribbles the ball while Indiana Pacers guard Ethan Thompson defends during the second half at Gainbridge Fieldhouse in Indianapolis, Ind., on April 12, 2026. (Trevor Ruszkowski/Imagn Images)
Their prize for such an accomplishment? Getting to face the lowly Orlando Magic, who themselves are in the middle of their own stretch of subpar play since Dwight Howard left the building more than a decade earlier.
Sure the top-seeded Pistons would easily dispatch the Magic, who needed a play-in win to even make the NBA Playoffs.
Oh how wrong you are!
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On Monday night, the Magic stunned the Pistons in Central Florida to take a commanding 3-1 series lead.
Should the Pistons roll over and get bounced by Orlando, it would be the first time since the 2007 Mavericks that a 60-win team was eliminated in round one of the NBA Playoffs.
Anthony Black of the Orlando Magic dribbles the ball against the Detroit Pistons during the fourth quarter at Kia Center in Orlando, Fla., on April 6, 2026. (Rich Storry/Getty Images)
Pistons fans are, understandably, in shambles, but one fan is taking matters into his own hands to punish himself for daring to be a Pistons supporter.
That looks more like “sprinkleboarding” to me, but I digress. The CIA might need to give this guy a few pointers.
Listen, buddy, it’s not that bad.
I know I said all those things about Detroit teams in the opening paragraphs, but seriously, it’s better than it looks.
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Detroit Pistons guard Cade Cunningham looks on during the first half against the Washington Wizards at Capital One Arena. (Daniel Kucin Jr./Imagn Images)
The Tigers are in first place in the AL Central right now. And the Lions should be fun to watch and competitive as long as Dan Campbell is still their head coach.
Besides, the series isn’t even over yet. Teams come back from down 3-1 all the time.
Okay, maybe not all the time, but it can happen!
Keep your head up, Curtis (and take that decorative hand towel off of it while you’re at it).
